


Can you hear my heart?

by Blackwing602



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, One-Sided Attraction, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwing602/pseuds/Blackwing602
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'My heart broke all over. It was the first time I’d ever heard them talk about their parents, ever. </p><p>Frisk continued, cheeks flushed and voice cracking, “She was with another man, not my Papa, and she had a baby with her, and they looked so happy…” </p><p>Frisk laid their head down on the bar and sobbed.' kinda one-sided Sans/Frisk. Part 2/?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can you hear my heart?

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.  
> I long for that feeling to not feel at all.  
> The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.  
> I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
> 
> Can you feel my heart?
> 
> Can you hear the silence?  
> Can you see the dark?  
> Can you fix the broken?  
> Can you feel... can you feel my heart?"  
> Can You Feel My Heart - Bring me the Horizon
> 
> Warning for reference to suicidal thoughts and child neglect/abuse. Slight warning for Sans having a crush on underage Frisk?? They're both underage but check the bottom for my thoughts on that
> 
> Also warning for adult language

There’s just some things that kid won’t talk about, even with me. Not that I think I’m anything special – I’m just a fat skeleton with a bad case of existential crisis and a, ah, few too many skeletons in my closet. But the kid seems to open up, just a bit, with me. I’ve been told I have that effect on people – put their minds at ease, defuse a tense conversation, put the focus on my self-deprecation and off their insecurities. I know it, ‘cause I do it on purpose. Papy has his own way of doing what I can do, but he’ll only make you forget the problem for a little – I tend to treat things a little more directly. 

But I like Frisk. I like Frisk a lot. It’s hard not to love the kid – I feel like every monster is a little head-over-heels for them, the way they can cuddle up to you and everyone and stare at you, when they’re not squintin’ all to hell, with them big ol’ brown eyes and make you fall in love with them. I gotta keep reminding myself this kid is jailbait. 

It also helps that they’re the only one who knows what the real deal is. The timelines, the saves, the resets. They’ve seen every single monster die, at their hands, they’ve seen me run them through hundreds of times with all my magic… And I’ve seen them die, over, and over, their blood splattered all over that Judgement hall by my hands alone. I’ve seen them slaughtered by Undyne while she laughed, licking the blood off her hands, Papy’s shock and grief at accidentally killing them, even Toriel…

To be frank, pretty sure all of this has fucked up Frisk, just a little. But that hasn’t limited them in their capacity to love without barrier and keep try, trying, trying again for the happier, better ending. I knew it tore them in two when they realized that Asriel and Chara, doomed by their past mistakes, were out of their reach. So it hurts even worse to know that, beyond the horrors the Underground taught them, they still have a whole other world of hurt I haven’t even touched.

I thought about asking. I thought about it a lot. I had that scientist’s hunger to know, insatiable curiosity. A hundred resets and lives have taught me self-control in such matters, and besides, I wasn’t even ready to begin discussing Gaster, so who was I to ask them to forfeit their entire life story just ‘cause?

At the end of our first year topside, Frisk told me. I didn’t ask, I’d even stopped wondering, but I guess it got a little too much. Kid had swallowed a big pill – teaching the entire Underground how to be a proper Topsider, begging the humans please please don’t kill them, and basically running the entire monster-humans relations politics. Asgore helped, but people wanted Frisk to tell them the monsters were house-trained, not some overgrown billy-goat who encouraged the underground to go around killing kids. 

… None of us had mentioned that little fact.

I still couldn’t hold down a job – not that I really needed to, I guess. The human government had given us a grant and a district to live in and the digs weren’t bad. Papy didn’t sleep and took up just about any job he could, just to try it out. One of his favorites was taxi-driving – brother made over ¥50,000 in one night. Said the customers couldn’t get enough of his costume, and 8 phone numbers from flirty little human girls. He got great work around Halloween, too – kids parties and stuff. People knew monsters were real, but nothing gave the humans quite a thrill as seeing a very enthusiastic skeleton running around everywhere. 

I lied – I had a half-part-time-whenever-I-felt-like gig at Grillby’s. Grillby opened up a new bar just outside of the Monster district, and boy was business booming. Just the novelty of getting served up some fantastic burgers by a literal human torch [except, not, human-? Oh you get the joke], but on top of that, Grillby went back and brought up some of the old casks of booze he served for like, chump change, and turns out, they were decades old, great vintages, and worth hundreds of thousands for just a glass. He sold ‘em pretty fast to some collectors, renovated the digs to his liking, and tripled his staff. I knew a bit about bartending, so sometimes I’d cover the graveyard shift if I got bored, or just needed to think. Tips were decent and there were some mighty pretty ladies who liked my jokes. 

It was on one such night, when I was starting to clean up for the day shift to take over, when Frisk walked through the door. Grillby’s was a bar, so it was technically 20 and up only, but monsters are pretty bad at telling human age so we just kind of roll with it. I knew Frisk was a kid though, and gave them a blank stare when they asked for my best brew.

“Isn’t it past your bed time, kid?” I chuckled, wiping down the chestnut veneer of the bar with a clean rag. Frisk grinned sheepishly at me, squinting a little. I call ‘em Squinty sometimes, ‘cause that kid’s eyes are always nearly shut. 

“A little,” they admitted. “I couldn’t… Sleep though.” They shuffled in their seat, looking at their hands in their lap. They seemed smaller and more fragile than ever, and my heart sank in my rib cage to see them looking like that. 

“I got just the thing.” I whipped up a fresh mug of frothy hot chocolate and set it down in front of them. Frisk gave me a sweet little smile and took a sip. 

“Nightmares?” I said in a low voice. The bar was empty ‘cept good ol’ ‘Blooky – he hung around on the graveyard shift a lot, playing these strange indie tunes on the jukebox and evaporating straight through his barstool to lay on the ground when the jam really suited him. I wanted the kid to have some privacy, though, so I kept it hush. 

“Kind of,” they murmured back, glancing at me with those doe eyes for just a second. Really had to watch myself around Frisk – too good looking for their own good. Boys, girls, and monsters were going to be lining up just as soon as they got a little older.

“… Do you… Have parents, Sans?” They asked in a quiet little voice.

My breath caught, but I made myself look at ease. Truth was, no, neither Papy or I had any true parents, ‘cept Gaster…  
“… Kind of? It’s all weird, kid. Papy and I are brothers, but our dad… Well, he ain’t around anymore. That's a story for another time though.”

“… I saw my mom, yesterday, on the train home from Tokyo.”

My heart broke all over. It was the first time I’d ever heard them talk about their parents, ever. 

Frisk continued, cheeks flushed and voice cracking, “She was with another man, not my Papa, and she had a baby with her, and they looked so happy…” 

Frisk laid their head down on the bar and sobbed. 

Frisk wasn’t a crier, but sometimes things get real hard and you can’t help it, and they were only thirteen, for crying out loud. They covered their face with their little hands and I made my way around the bar and scooped them up into my arms and, with a quick glance around the room [just ‘Blooky and their tunes] took them to the employee’s back room and set them down on the cushy leather couch. They were still crying, big tears rolling down their cheeks, and they wrapped their little arms around my neck and bawled into my shoulder.

Parents are just the worst, man.

After a while, Frisk calmed down, pulled away and took some deep, steadying breaths. Then they took my skull in their hands and asked, “You want to know why I don’t talk about before I fell?” 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t wanna, sweetheart,” I told them, stoking their hair. But their eyes were fierce.

“You know… You’re the only one who knows about the timelines and resets and my power,” they murmured. “I think it’s only fair if you know this, too.”

Skeletons don’t cry and I was damn happy I didn’t when they told me this sordid tale. I had to break away for a few minutes to make sure the bar was okay, and after the second time Burgerpants, who was seriously considering a name-change, told me he’d mind the bar until I was done. For 20, that guy had a heart. 

A father who slipped into his job and just up and left one day. A mother who worked her ass off but forgot to feed her kid. Frisk, starving inside and out, more abandoned and hopeless than any kid should ever be. Waiting all day and night at the aquarium, and finally climbing the Mt. Ebbot Nature Trail.

“I went there to die, Sans.” Ten years old, and they had decided they wanted to die. Ten years. The real monsters weren’t us, I decided then – it was the humans. I knew well enough the horror Frisk could behold, and they kept me up at night, but this… This was something else entirely. 

“Kid…” I hugged them tight to me, more to steady myself. “Thank you, for telling me. For trusting me. I mean it. No bones about it – if you ever need anything, or ever need to just talk… I’m here. I always will be, I promise.” They made a happy noise in their throat and and cuddled up a little tighter. I wiped away the tear tracks from Frisk’s chubby cheeks with a clean rag and we went back out to the bar. I held my hand over their old cup of hot chocolate and when it left, it was as fresh as when we’d left. They gave me a big ol’ smile and took a big gulp of it. 

It was at this point I checked my phone – shit. 20 texts from Toriel, all various forms of ‘Have you seen Frisk?????’ I shot her a few texts explaining it was fine, they were at Grillby’s, and I’d take them home at the end of my shift. ‘Blooky drifted over and left some coins on the counter and wafted away, humming an eery tune under their breath. 

“Sans… … Do you… Ever think about… Flowey?” 

My teeth clenched. Hell yeah I did, and damn that stinking weed for all he was worth. Soulless and incapable of love, my ass – wasn’t no good excuse for killing the underground a thousand times over for shits and giggles, but I held my words.

“Sometimes, kid.”

“I saved everyone else… But them.” Their voice was soft and sad. “I want to go back. And get him.”

“You want a killer houseplant, kid? We can just get you one of those Venus fly-traps if you want one so bad,” I joked.

“Everyone deserves love, Sans. Even Flowey.”

“That's up to debate,” I shrugged, “but if you feel like you should. … What is that thing’s deal, anyway? I know it came from Alphys’ experiments, but you wouldn’t care about it so much if it was just that, would you?”

Frisk’s eyes were dark when they spoke. “Let's make a deal, Sans. Tell me about your dad and I’ll tell you about where Flowey really came from. But first, I’ll have to get him.” And they stood up, as if they were prepared to walk all the way to Mt. Ebbot right then and there, but I put a steadying hand on their shoulder. 

“Cool kid, but not today. Today you’re gonna eat some breakfast and I’m taking you home and you’re gonna get some sleep, or Toriel will really kill me this time,” I told them. They sank back into the barstool, resigned, and I took their mind off it with a big plate of eggs, bacon, and banana pancakes. They’d very nearly finished, the dawn peeking through the windows and casting scarlet highlights all through that mop of hair of theirs, when Catty came in, all sunshine and ready to rock. The mornings could get crazy, but Catty had enough energy to handle it and still talk up a storm whenever Bratty came in, so Grillby gave her the mornings. Grillby himself switched between evenings and the graveyard shift. I always came in for a bite.

Frisk got a warm hug and a kiss from her as she swept by, and I handed her the keys and apron and clocked out in the back. Shrugging on my jacket, Frisk followed me out the door and we walked, their hand wrapped around mine, to the road back to the monster district and Toriel’s home. 

“You’re almost as tall as me, kid,” I commented, grinning at them. Probably as tall as me – I was bigger, but we could see nearly eye-to-eye now. They nodded. 

“Yeah – Momma told me I won’t grow much more anymore, though. My feet haven’t grown in almost a year.”

“That's good, I like being taller than you,” I grinned. We walked hand in hand in the blazing morning dawn for a while, the air losing it’s crispness the further we went along. It was just a ten minute walk back to Frisk’s place and another ten to mine, but I wasn’t in a rush and we took it easy. Frisk stopped to pick a particularly pretty violet flower from a close by garden and tried to put it behind my ear but I didn’t really have anywhere to put it in, besides my eyes and that just seemed counterproductive, so I just tucked it behind their ear and they gave me a huge grin and a kiss on the cheek. My heart skipped a few beats.

Toriel was waiting on the porch in a fluffy bathrobe and gave me a warm cinnamon-scented hug and an even bigger one to Frisk, who squirmed and squealed in her fur. 

“Now, up to bed with you, child!” She tisked. Frisk gave me a rueful smile and started up the stairs. 

Toriel turned her attention to me, violet eyes somber behind her glasses. “Sans, I cannot thank you enough.”

“Aw, it was nothing, Mrs. Dreemurr,” I smiled. She glowered a little at the reference to her last name but I knew damn well who she was cotting up with nowadays [and why shouldn’t she?] and she let it slide. 

“I do not need Frisk to lie to me to know they are… tortured by nightmares,” she murmured, full of a sincere mother’s concern. It was the best thing about her – while Frisk loved without abandon in only the way a child could, Toriel’s love was the boundless compassion only a mother could bear. It almost made me fall in love with her, but I was well aware things between her and her ex-husband were far from over, and I wasn’t about to get messed up in all that.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Just keep an eye on them, will you?” 

“Always. I just wish they would talk to me about it. I feel very helpless, hearing them… Scream in the middle of the night, but they pretend like it’s nothing at all…”

“Frisk doesn’t want you to worry. They’re like that. Pie and loving helps a lot, though,” I added.

“There is only so much I can do there, however.” She sighed. “At any rate, thank you. Frisk cares for you very deeply.”

I would have blushed had I the blood to do so, but, y’know. “Not a problem. I’m off to bed. Tell the king hi for me, would you?” She smiled and waved at me until I disappeared behind the gate and onto the south pass again to head home.

I stole a glance at Mt. Ebbot, letting myself wonder what exactly Flowey was up to in there. Probably sulking. I’d seen a lot of what that flower could do, and I didn’t like one bit of it. I’d rather see him fall into a can of weed-killer than get Frisk’s love and care, but this is Frisk we were talking about.

If there was a shot at saving Flowey… I couldn’t stop myself from daring to hope. There was one last ghost, no, less than a memory, haunting the halls of the Underground, speaking in the only way he could, in hands, blighted from everyone’s memories…. Save mine. The source of my magic and the reason I knew the things I did. 

W.D. Gaster. Could he too, finally get the long-sought rest he’d searched for?

I shook my head, shutting the door of my home. All was silent, with Papy gone at work, or, well, whatever he was doing, and I fell straight on the couch and let sleep take over. I sniffed my jacket and smiled.

Smelled like that kid – flowers and cinnamon. I was awful glad they told me what had happened, and while it made me want to find exactly the people responsible and hurt them, I could be satisfied with just knowing I’d helped Frisk get over their personal demons.

If only they could ease mine.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't MEAN to write a sequel but my hand slipped. There's going to be another, too. Guess this a series now. *headpalm*
> 
> So, Frisk is 12 and in my head Sans is like, 16 at most but like, he's seen so much he feels a lot older than Frisk and feels like a royal creeper for crushing on them. Monster ages are weird, too
> 
> Also the reason imo Frisk is squinty is the same reason I'm squinty - they broke their glasses during their fall. ('My glasses! I can't see without my glasses!')
> 
> Thanks for reading, you guys are beautiful. ❤️


End file.
